Friday, June 1, 2012

YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART: PART 1

Christianity is a faith that was meant to spread-but not through coercion. God's love was intended to be demonstrated, not dictated. Our charge is to both proclaim and embody the gospel so that others can see, hear, and feel God's love in tangible ways.
- Richard Stearns, "The Hole In The Gospel"


There have been 2 questions that have haunted me for the past 6 years:

1. What is church really suppose to be... and do?
2. What is a Christian really suppose to be... and do?

As I became jaded about the Church ( I am using the uppercase "C" to represent the church in general regardless of denomination) years ago, I started to ask these questions. Boy did it put me on a path of discovery that I never saw coming! The one thing I know for sure is this... If you ask the Lord hard pressed questions, He WILL give you the answers, in His way and His time. Some church folks get weird when you start questioning things, but actually this became the most beneficial thing I could have done as it related to my relationship with God and the church. He saw it fitting that these answers came by way of process for me. A process means waiting, and if you read this blog, you know how much I loath waiting:)

I am not going to go into the MANY ways the Lord has given me inches of these answers over the last 6 years of searching and researching. Some of these ways are described in earlier posts. I am however going to speak very frankly about certain answers that have changed how I view church and my relationship as a child of God...

America is the most evangelized nation in the world. We have churches on every corner it seems. Years ago I started to wonder why with SO MANY churches was there NOT MUCH transformation in the communities they reside in. With people who supposedly "knew" the most powerful and loving Being in the universe, why was there such a lack of evidence in their communities of this love and power. I heard about great faith, great love, and a great God... so where was the great changes that should accompany such greatness? It didn't measure up.

Without a shadow of a doubt I knew Jesus was real and powerful. I had experienced Him personally in a very dramatic way. NOBODY can tell me anything to derail me from the truth of who He is . Many have tried, and many fail. That's how important a personal encounter with Christ is (I can see how one would have to rely strictly on head knowledge and could doubt without a personal experience of His presence). I have also seen His real and powerful love change many lives over the years, so I knew He was powerful to change us in ways that we could NEVER on our own. So if He was all that He claimed to be, then it was the Church who was suspect.

Some folks may think that I am hard on the Church or I am just negative. This is far from the truth. It's because I love the Church and believe in it's existence that I am passionate about seeing it do what it is really suppose to do and be what it is really suppose to be. I am literally grieved when I see us play Church and not be the Church. The message of the gospel, the message about Jesus, is so life transforming that even if one church was "being" what Jesus meant for it to be, the evidence of that LIFE in it's surrounding community/ies would be completely undeniable. So what's the problem?

1. We don't really know how much we are loved by the Lord. We haven't really grasped the reality of it. It is too great for us to comprehend. We are so use to earning and obtaining in this life that we struggle to receive anything we haven't deserved or earned. This great LOVE WAS FREE... IS FREE. I have found when we truly receive that love, our faith will naturally and joyfully produce good works, the kind He made for us to do before the foundations of the world.

2. We have made it routine. Our hearts need to be connected to the message we claim to believe and to the person we claim to worship. It's only when the heart is connected that faith turns into action. Even our giving must be with a merry heart, a heart that is connected, for it really to mean anything... for it to be real worship... for faith to produce something that has substance. I have to pray everyday that the Lord continue to pull my heart close to His. It's not easy for a heart to stay present in worship or in relationship to Jesus in this life. We have SO many things competing for our hearts, it's tough. That's why I don't pretend to have the love, the passion, the fire for Him or His will at all times... when I don't. I pray EVERYDAY the Lord keep that love burning in me, so my "doings" are flowing from a sincere love for Him and others, and not from cold commitment or false obligation.

3. We have made it SO about us!

To be continued... I'll post more tomorrow. This particular post will probably be 2 or 3 parts.

Kim Winston Bigler
FREEtheINSIDE

(This post is dedicated to the foster children who have benefitted thus far from my "heart change" that occurred as a result of this 6 year process. Praise the Lord He didn't leave me feeling "ok" with the status quo. I was blind, but now I see.)



  



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