YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART: PART 2

Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

This post is a continuation of the previous post, so if you're wondering why I am just cutting to the chase, that's why.

So where were we? Oh yes...

3. We think it is SO about us. I am all for the Church helping folks grow strong in the Lord and in the truth of who they are in Him. However, human nature is a strong force. It seems that we can get stuck within our four walls, focused only on our problems, our wants, our programs, and our routines. With this short-sighted view of the Church's role in the Kingdom of God, we miss the bigger vision. While we are supposedly growing in Christ, the rest of the world on the "outside" is waiting to see the sons and daughters of God revealed in their new found strength. We all have hang-ups. We will ALWAYS be working them out along the way. BUT He is faithful to complete what He started in us. I promise one thing. He never designed us to live self-centered, reclusive, or apathetic lives... no matter what our hang-ups are.

Check Isaiah 58:4-14 out:

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
    only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
    and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
    a day acceptable to the Lord?

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke? 

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter —
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. 

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
    with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 

 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday. 

The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
    Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

“If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
    and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
    and the Lord’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
    and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, 

then you will find your joy in the Lord,
    and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
    and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

A lot of benefits are promised here for God's people when they reach out beyond themselves. God's people get blessed and so do those who need His touch… a tangible one. Now that's a system that finally makes sense to me.   

I have seen every one of these benefits manifest in my own life. I can't be clear enough when I say that when the bible says it is truly more blessed to give than to receive... that's a fact. Especially when the giving is done with the right heart, not done with self-seeking motives. Only one simple motive will do... to love.

I was praying one day about what the Lord would have me focus on. Since Phoenix was now in school full-time and I felt to step out of all leadership within the church for a time, I now had... well, time. I was a bit anxious praying because I am not one to feel comfortable being still (which by the way is a requirement for hearing the Lord... clearly). I was struggling to just sit there and listen. I thought the Lord might hurry it up if I cried out. So I did. What drama. Anyway, I remember telling the Lord that I will go anywhere and do anything for Him if He would just make it clear. After telling God I would go care for millions of orphans with Heidi Bakker in Africa, all I heard in return was the garbage truck emptying all the trash cans on the street. Is that one of the most aggravating sounds on earth, or is it just me? 

Finally, that still small voice did answer. 

It came when I ditched the quiet time with God, since He wasn't responding fast enough to my inquiry, and went to work on my computer! GO FIGURE! I'm not joking. I was looking through my emails and I saw this random one about a girl needing a heater for her new apartment. She just aged-out of the foster care system. She obtained a new apartment but didn't have a heater, or much of anything really. At this time it was around Christmas, so it was cold. I remember thinking, why was I sent this email. Then I remember thinking, WHY was she given an apartment with no heat! THEN I remember thinking, WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID AN EMAIL EVEN HAVE TO BE SENT OUT ABOUT THIS. HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A HEATER FOR 30 BUCKS AT WAL-MART! I was livid. I went into a train wreck of thoughts about how if the Church was doing it's job, this girl would not only have a heater, but a home filled with all she needed to live comfortably. Heck, if the Church was doing it's job, SHE WOULD HAVE PARENTS! 

As I grew mad, all of a sudden, my heart started breaking. What is this? My heart hurt. I started feeling for this girl. She had spent all her life in different homes, has a new start as an independent, and all she is left with at the end of all that loneliness, abuse, and rejection was an empty cold apartment. My heart cracked and it hurt. Now I know why it's easier to stay ignorant or distant from the needs of others. When you allow yourself to really "see" the reality of someone's desperate situation, it touches you. Deeply. All of a sudden that still small voice of God's came... "Can you do something practical Kim? Can you go get the heater for her?" I was seeking the Lord earlier that day about moving to Africa and mothering orphans and the Lord answered me with a practical request from my own backyard. I started to understand what He was trying to say, and there would be more heaters to buy. 

To be continued...

Kim Winston Bigler

FREEtheINSIDE

(This entry is dedicated to the young lady to whom I brought the heater to. I was hoping to change your life, but in turn, you changed mine. BTW, I am still hoping to change yours.)