Empathy.
We need more of it in the Body of Christ.
Empathy is the identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.
I mean the Church SHOULD ROCK AT EMPATHY!
When I first came to Christ around the year 2000, I was filled instantly with a love for people I had never known before. Before that time, I had always been attracted to the "underdogs" of the world but wasn't driven to actually make a difference. I was lacking something. I was lacking a love that is compelled to act. A selfless love that wanted nothing in return from others. When Jesus showed up, I was filled with this love and saw the broken in such a way that all I wanted to do was be used on some level to extend Jesus' heart to them in a real way. I empathized with their need for love, strength, and peace. I understood their brokenness and the desire to be healed and whole. I left my cush job in NYC to go after the poor in spirit, to lift them up the way Jesus did me, having complete faith that God would lead and provide along the way. All my views about what success was in this life had changed.
Did I mention Church was tricky? Unless true humility has been birthed in a church leader, that church could be in for some interesting times. An identity is learned, imparted. It's important who you follow. Some churches have a humble and loving spirit about them. All you have to do is meet the leader/s of that church and know why. Same is true for churches who have, well, a not so loving and humble spirit about them. The nature of that church leadership usually influences the flock who attend. Jesus should be our biggest influence, but sometimes this is just not the case for people who claim Him as Lord of their lives. Some may have started walking closely with Him only to find a departure somewhere along the journey.
I learned the "business" of ministry early on as a pastor. Talk about a hindrance to following Jesus. (Rabbit Trail: If you are in the "business" of ministry or go to a church where He is just a commodity, not the CEO, and people are expendable... RUN... run as fast as you can... or have a "come to Jesus" meeting with the pastors there. Seriously. For the love of humanity.) As I was saying, I GRADUALLY got my eyes off the only ONE I should be truly following always, Jesus. As pressures of the ministry became heavy and true support became non-existent, I burned out. Big time.
I remember being on my honeymoon (I married the most amazing man ever... more to come about how the Lord used him to bring me back to life). I was sitting on a beautiful beach, looking at the clouds in the sky, resting for the first time in a long time and I said to God, "I'm done. I'm not going back to ministry. I feel like a pawn, and I am not going to be one anymore. I love you but I am mad at you, and quite frankly, Your church is crazy." I didn't have anymore faith to carry anyone anymore, my body was shutting down due to exhaustion, and I was confused.
Empathy. There are times we need others to come along side of us when we are down or have lost our way. ALL OF US. People who understand what we are going through. People who can speak truth where lies have come in. I needed a "safe place", safe people. When I tried to reach out, I either got "have more faith" or "maybe you need to repent of some sin" or "just claim His promises" or in some cases... "just have a drink". Where was Jesus in all this? I wasn't finding Him anywhere... WHY? Having faith is good, repenting of sin is good, claiming His promises... good, BUT WHERE WAS THE HEART OF GOD! WHERE WAS THE DEFENDER OF THE WEAK... because the last time I checked... I WAS WEAK! WHERE WAS THE GOD WHO SENT HIS ONLY SON NOT TO CONDEMN THE WORLD BUT TO SAVE IT! WHERE WAS THAT GOD BECAUSE I NEED SAVING RIGHT NOW! Would I have to pay someone to listen to me, to provide REAL guidance for a sister right now. Really, I had to pay someone to care? This thought made matters worse. Satan filled my mind with so many doubts about God, His love for me and His plans for me. However, I was learning something crucial in this dark season. After years of trying to live up to false expectations as a leader, God had to heal something in me that had been there since childhood. He was also preparing me, His way, to be the minister He had designed for me to be. I was about to personally experience real ministry, the kind the real Jesus was in. Then once He restored me, I would turn around and strengthen my brother and sister. God was MAKING me... into a strong woman of faith... a true servant of Jesus... a defender of the weak. God was going to take me to the depths of humanity, including my own, and show me EMPATHY... His way.
Kim Winston Bigler
FREEtheINSIDE Ministries
(this entry is dedicated to the incredible people at The Center who care about burned out leaders, who love without judgment, and who humbly represent Christ when one can't seem to find Him)
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